Let Sleeping Babies Lie

Why do I feel like a failure as a mother when my baby won't take naps in her crib or sleep through the night?  When your infant is a good sleeper you have ultimate bragging rights.  But when, in my cause, you have a history of breeding bad sleepers, the other mommies look at you with disgust.  Maybe I am exaggerating.  But there's always the mom's who are quick to criticize.  "You don't let her cry it out?"  "You let her take naps in the carseat?"  And, the ultimate 'sin', "You let her sleep with you all night?!"

Yes, we are a co-sleeping, bedsharing kind of family for many reasons, but mostly because that's the only thing that ever allowed us to get enough sleep.  I use the term "enough" loosely, because we NEVER get enough sleep anymore.  Cosleeping works pretty good at night (if you like sleeping on your side all night with your arms contorted and waking up with a backache every single morning) but what about during the day time when our baby has to take those pesky naps?  Forgo those little siestas and she transforms into a gremlin... as did my olderst before her.  But, with one child I was able to enforce a strict napping schedule in the crib and time all my activites and errands around that glorious schedule.  With the second, that all went out the window.

The poor girl spends a couple hours a day in her carseat where she does most of her sleeping while we're on the way to preschool, swim lessons, the grocery store, dry cleaners, play dates, you name it.  Now the only place she will nap is in that carseat... she HATES the crib.  She's also super alert at this age and very wakeful, taking only 15-30 minute cat naps throughout the day and waking up at any little sound or movement.  When we're home I try rocking her and nursing her to sleep, putting her down and half of the time she wakes right up.  The other half of the time, the dog barks, my oldest makes a racket, the door squeaks, etc. and she is up again.  This happens over and over until I'm ready to pull my hair out and my oldest has watched way too many videos.

What's a mom to do?  I really am not down with the whole cry it out thing.  It seems so insensitive and cruel, although I have considered it.  My husband is pushing it... we're not exactly on the same page, but he defers to me most of the time.  Is there any hope for us? I sure hope so!!