When is a cucumber like a strawberry?

"When one is in a pickle and the other is in a jam."  My son told this joke a lot when he was three.  It got some laughs.  But, it got me thinking... Are the strawberries and cucumbers of the day-to-day (i.e., mouthy preschooler, sleepless baby, husband working late, to-do list a mile long) really just opportunities to make jam and pickles?  It's like the old adage, "Life gives you lemons, make lemonade."  Man, my fruit cravings are out of control. :)

My point is, while the big and little problems in life often have me feeling trapped, maybe there is a way to shift my perspective and see the bigger picture.  This is a huge challenge for me.  It's difficult for me to see things on the macro level--what really matters and what doesn't--and the negative feelings that result are roadblocks to happiness and productivity.  My soul is always in unrest.

Next time I feel overwhelmed/tired/frustrated/angry/depressed I am going to ask myself an important question.  No, it's not, "When is a cucumber like a strawberry?"  It's a question that appeared in an email newsletter I subscribe to, and I kind of like it. 

The question is: "What is my soul inviting me to learn from this situation?”

According to the email message, "the answer will always revolve around a quality or value, like gratitude, freedom, compassion, love, will, humour or acceptance. The answer will also always promote union rather than separation."  Hmmm... so you mean my children are not trying to torture me?  My husband isn't spending extra time at work to avoid having to clean up dinner, put the kids to bed or do laundry?  You mean, I'm supposed to be learning something from all this?!  Of course, I'm being facetious.  But, I do need a reminder to change my thinking and reflect on the lessons to be learned from everyday situations.

I challenge myself to find the meaning in life's little debacles. Maybe awareness that there is something to be learned is really all that's needed to diffuse my tension and solve the problem.  Here's a thought to leave you with from some scientist dude--maybe you've heard of him. 

"Out of clutter, find Simplicity. From discord, find Harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

-- Albert Einstein

What's Missing?

"Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else."

-- Wayne Dyer

According to the above quote, absolutely nothing is missing.  Then why do I go through so many days of my life feeling empty and incomplete?  Maybe I am just running on empty.  A good night's sleep goes a long way toward having a positive attitude and seeing myself for who I truly am. 

All too often, I star the day off with the thought that I'm not doing enough... that I am not enough.  I come down so hard on myself for having a messy house, kids who don't sleep through the night, weight to lose, spending too much at the grocery store, etc.  If I was still working, my ugly inner voice would be saying I don't know enough, I need to speak up, I should work faster and smarter, etc.  I foolishly think life will be better once I have the moving boxes unpacked, the kitchen painted, time to exercise... you get the idea. Why do I do this to myself?

I want to enjoy now. I want to live in the moment, not live with an eye on a more perfect future me.  I want to love myself for who I am today, even with all my perceived flaws. Most of all, I want to stop looking for what's missing and start appreciating what I have. That means giving myself credit where credit is due, not looking to others for approval but finding satisfaction within, and remembering that I have special gifts and talents to offer.  I am unique and who I am is who I am supposed to be!

It is critical for me to change my perspective for two reasons.  My current attitude isn't getting me anywhere, that's for sure.  I spend every day feeling inadequate, which leads me to my second point.  A mother who is not confident and happy can not possibly be the best mother she is capable of being.  I want to instill a sense of self-reliance and positive thinking in my children.  I want to teach them compassion and strength and that starts with me.

We're letting her cry it out... don't judge me!

This weekend, Dr. Sears moved out and Dr. Ferber moved in....  And, my, oh my, has my sweet baby been crying a lot.  I do feel badly about that, but she has not cried longer than five minutes without my husband or I coming in for a reassuring pep-talk.  "It's okay, we love you.  It's time to sleep."  She has no idea what our gibberish means, but is so insulted when we turn and walk away.  I can tell by the high-pitched wailing coming from her room.  Poor thing.  It's an awful sound for a mother to hear, but I do think we are turning a corner.

The first night she cried for almost an hour before falling asleep SITITNG UP!  Crazy.  Then she slept for three hours straight!  I had three hours to myself.  Unreal.  She is usually up every 30-45 minutes when she's sleeping in her room, then every hour or so to nurse when she is sleeping in my bed.  Seriously.  I would not being doing this if either myself or my baby were getting adequate sleep.  I was basically on the edge of exhaustion-induced insanity.

Although, it's been a tough weekend emotionally for both of us, I believe she is learning to fall asleep on her own.  And, don't tell Dr. Ferber, but I do bring her into our room to sleep with me when she wakes in the middle of the night.  My boobs are like bowling balls by then... so we both need some bonding time.  I don't want give up sleeping with her completely, I just want her to be able to regular naps, fall asleep without too much help and sleep for longer than a half an hour at a time.  With a preschooler and an eight-month old baby, I have to get rest to be at the top of my game.  You know what they say, "If mama's not happy, no one's happy!"  Ain't that the truth.